


... respecting your decisions

by JohnPuller



Series: Family means ... [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Bobby Nash Acting as Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parental Figure, Established Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Protective Bobby Nash, Worried Bobby Nash, Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:20:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25666585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnPuller/pseuds/JohnPuller
Summary: After a hard day at work, Eddie comes home and finds their house quiet. Something to worry about, because their house was never quiet.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/ Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Family means ... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862542
Comments: 7
Kudos: 166





	... respecting your decisions

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, 
> 
> I am not a native speaker and just started writing in English. If you find any serious mistakes feel free to tell me. I would appreciate it. 
> 
> Otherwise enjoy reading.

The moment he entered the house, he knew something was wrong. Buck know lived always half a year with them and their house was never quiet. Never. Expect now. He frowned and tried to remember what their plans for today were. Did he miss something? But as hard as he thought he could find out that he missed something. 

Buck´s shift ended before his own so he went to lunch with Maddie who wanted to talk with him about the christening for her daughter. For his niece. After that, he was supposed to pick Christopher up from Abuela. Hell did something happened to their son? He dropped his Duffel bag and headed after his room. "Chris? Are you there?" He couldn't ban the concern from his voice. He opened his son's door and feel the tension leaving his body. At least some of it. “Hey, daddy!” A big smile plastered his face. But to Eddie, it looked forced. “Hey, Chris. Is everything alright?” His son shifted. Eddie could tell that something bothered him, so he kneeled on his level and asked: “You knew you could tell me everything, right?” Chris looked up to him and nodded slowly. “Want to talk about mijo?” Chris nodded again and started to explain: “Something is wrong with dad, daddy!” Eddie felt his heart drop. “What do you mean Chris?” The boy shifted again. “He seemed different as he picked me up. And he didn´t laugh about jokes and didn´t want to watch Dory with me!” His son looked hurt. And Eddie? Eddie was officially worried. Buck would never skip his favorite movie with his favorite child. For nothing in the world, he would ever do that. “Hey Chris, what about I talk to Buck while you play with your Legos a little bit longer?” Chris simply nods and returns to his play. “Just make sure, he is ok daddy!” Hell, with what did he deserves a smart kid like Chris?

He leaves his son's room and closed the door. Maybe he should have called someone, who would watch after Chris but he was too concentrated on Buck. Concerned and worried he headed to their bedroom. Even after half a year, it sounds strange to him. Strange but good. Silent he opened the door. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but definitely not what he found. Buck sat on their bed. His smartphone clutched in his fist like it was his lifeline. He smiled sadly as he looked up to Eddie. “Hey, Eds. I need to leave. I´m sorry. I should have talked to you about this sooner, but I wasn’t strong enough. Like always. I don´t want to make this about me, so I leave. There is a letter for Christopher on your desk and I promise to text and call as often as I could. I love you Eds but I have to go.” With that, he stands up and turned to leave. Eddie was frozen in his tracks. He didn´t understand what was going on. So it took him a moment to react. Buck was almost out of the front door when Eddie catches him. “Wow, stop. What do you think, you are doing?” Buck turned around to face him. “Like I said. I am going to leave.” “Yeah, I understand this, but what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Eddie was furious and he knew he should calm down for Chris, Buck´s, and his own sake but he couldn´t. He lost the love of his life almost five times within the last year so he wouldn’t let him go now without a damn good reason. The problem was that Buck didn´t make the slightest inclination to talk to him. “For Christ's sake, Evan please talk to me. I thought we were past this but if I have to I explain it again. I love you from the bottom of my heart and nothing you tell me will ever change that. I told you a long time ago that you can tell me everything that goes on in your life and now I plead you to talk to me. I almost lost you too often. I will not lose you. Christopher will not lose you. So Evan Jonathan Buckley tell me what the hell is wrong!” Buck shifted uncomfortably. “I… I love you so much Eddie. And nothing will ever be going to change that. But if I stay I put you and Christopher in danger.” Eddie frowned. “What do you mean?” Buck stayed silent. Eddie sight. “So you won´t tell me? Fine. But if you say Chris and I are in danger then I am calling Athena right now.” He let go of Buck's fist and grabbed his smartphone. Buck sight but didn´t try to leave. “So you won´t let me go. Am I at least allowed to look after Chris? I think I scared him earlier.” Buck sounded unsure. Eddie sight inside. He really thought that after half a year living together Buck would have understood, that they were family. Hell, Chris called him dad since he moved in. “Buck, he is your son too. He wasn’t scared. You could not even do that if you wanted. He was just worried about you. I am sure he would appreciate it if you play with him a little.” Eddie smiled sadly. Buck simply nodded, let go of his bag, and headed for their son's room. 

As soon as he was out of hearing Eddie called Bobby. He knew for sure, that his Boss should be home right now. If he remembered right he planned a couple night today. So May and Harry shouldn´t be at home, unlike Athena. He was sorry to interrupt their plans, but he needed help her. He knew that, if Buck would actually decide to leave, he would just do that and not even Eddie would be able to stop him. So he carried it as a small victory that Buck hasn´t really fought to leave. 

It ringed three times, before Bobby answers. “Eddie?” He could hear his worry. “Ahm, yeah. Hey Bobby! Are you with Athena right now?” “Yeah. Eddie, what’s going on?” “Can you put me on speaker please?” He knew, that he scared Bobby but he was scared himself right know so he didn´t mind. “Hey, honey. Bobby put you on speaker. Is everything okay?” Eddie sight. “No actually. When… when I come home our house was silent. It is never silent. It was not before Buck moved in and especially not after. So I went to Chris's room, thought something was wrong with him. But he was just worried about Buck. As I found him, he had already packed and wanted to leave. He said someone would hurt me or Chris if he would stay. I could convince him to stay right now but I don´t know what to do!”, he finished the story. The line fell silent for a moment. “Ok honey. Were heading to you. May and Harry are with Michael so there is no rush for us to figure out what is wrong with our Buckaroo.” Athena always knows what people need. Especially if it comes to one of her children. 

Athena and Bobby needed exactly fifteen minutes. Eddie used the time to watch the interaction between Buck and his son. They just sit on the ground and played with Christopher’s Legos. They smiled and laugh together about something Eddie didn´t understand. It was like every other day. Like nothing ever really happened. But at the moment it meant the world to Eddie. 

He felt his smartphone buzzing and headed out of the room. He wasn´t sure why Athena and Booby texted him instead of ringing the bell but he was grateful because it means, that he was able to talk to them before confronting his boyfriend. A minute later he opened his front door and looks into two way too much concerned faces. “Hey. Thanks for coming on such short notice. I don´t know what to do.” Bobby nodded and headed inside. “It´s okay Eddie. You know Bobby feels for him like he was his own son so don´t worry. We didn´t even have real plans for today.” Eddie nodded and waved her inside. Bobby stand already in the kitchen and started cooking. Eddie looked surprised. “What are you doing?” Bobby looked at him. “Athena and I agreed in the car that, even if we try we don´t get him to tell us what´s up. She mentioned that he often talk more freely if it is just the two of us cooking together. So I hope your fridge is stocked!” “Yeah. Buck went grocery shopping before getting Chris from school. At least, he planned this morning. I get the boys.” 

“Hey Chris, want to play a video game with me and Athena?” Chris immediately nodded enthusiastically, stands up, and headed for the living area. “Athena is her?”, Buck asked as he stands up. “Yeah. Bobby as well. They will join us for dinner. I hope you went to the store before you get Chris!” Buck smiled sheepishly. “Of course. Can´t forget to have healthy food in the house. I´m not you!” Eddie raised his arms and wined: “It was one time. One time Buck. You don´t have to remind me every week!” His boys will never let him forget that day. He rumbled and left the room. Buck was behind him. An honest smile on his lips. 

“Hey, Buck. Do you mind helping me?”, Bobby askes as soon as they arrived in the kitchen. Buck looked at Eddie. Insecure. “Go. I´ll have fun winning against Athena!” He headed to the living room where Athena and Christopher already played. “Hey, superman. Mind if I join you?” “Daddy. You need to help me. She is better than you and Buck!” Eddie laughs. “Better then Buck? No way. Let’s try this together!” 

While Eddie played, Buck chocked vegetables. “What are we cooking Bobby?” Bobby smiled. “Just a simple Tomato sauce for some noodles. And you my friend cut the vegetables for or salat. Can´t let you just eat unhealthily.” Buck chuckled. “Don´t tell me pop. Eddie actually thought Mac and Cheese was a real lunch!” They laugh together. After a minute Bobby realized what Buck just had called him and freeze. Pop. Buck had called him Pop. He didn´t realize that he stared at the man he thinks about like a son since his first week at the station. Bobby was just thankful that Buck didn´t seem to acknowledge his strange behavior. The younger man was just focused on the vegetables so Bobby had time to find himself again and make a plan. 

“Hey Buck, you know you can talk to me about everything?” It was not really a question even if it was addressed as one. Buck stopped in his tracks and locked up at him. He shrugged. “I guess you and `Thena aren’t just here for dinner, do you?” Bobby sight and shacked his head. “Eddie is worried about you. So am I after he told me. What going on son?” Buck nearly cut himself. His legs gave up and he stumbled to the ground with a silent sob. Bobby was by him without a second thought. “Hey son, I got you. I got you. No one is going to hurt you.” Buck just continued to sob. His whole body was trembling. Bobby held him and rock with him back and forth as he did it with Brooke when she was upset about something. “You save with us Buck!”, continued his calming words. He didn´t expect a reaction. “You can´t promise that.” Bobby froze in his spot. He hoped Buck would explain but he didn´t he needed to ask. “Buck, why didn´t you feel save with us?” Buck didn´t respond. For Bobby, it looks like the younger man was captured by his thoughts. Slowly the older man grabbed his face between his hands and made Buck look at him. “Buck, son. We are family. We help each other. Eddie is worried about you. I am worried about you. Please tell me what´s bothering you?” Bobby could practically see the fight that his youngest recruit fought with himself. He wanted to shake him so he would tell him, but he knew it would change a thing so he just held the younger man tighter and let him take his time. 

“They coming to Maddie’s baby shower.” If Bobby hadn´t pay attention he hasn´t heard. His voice wasn’t more than a whisper. He makes sure of speaking as low as he could. “Buck? Who comes to the shower?” The younger man continued to sob but answered: “My parents.” Bobby froze. Buck never talked about his parents. He knew the young man a little over three years now and he never even mentioned his parents. The didn´t show up when he was hurt. Not when Maddie killed Doug. An not after he nearly died three times in a short period of time. “They will find out. And then, they will hurt them. I have to leave Bobby. Please.” Buck looked at him. His eyes were wet and he looked so small. Like an anxious child. “Buck listen to me son. We are family. No one let something happen to you, Eddie or Chris. We… “ Buck interrupted him. “Bobby you don´t understand. They came to Maddie´s baby shower. She wants them in her child’s life. She wants to reconnect with them. She doesn´t know about … about what happened between me and them after she left for college. I never told her. I don´t want her to know.” “Buck. Son. Whatever happened between you and your parents, if it triggers a panic attack you have to tell her at some point.” Buck sobbed harder and buried his face in Bobby’s shoulder. “But for now, tell me how Athena and I can help!” 

Bobby decided he wouldn’t let Buck stay with Eddie and Chris when there was just the slightest chance that they were in danger. Even though they haven´t the full story, or even a part of it jet Bobby and Athena decided to take the three of them to there own house. Harry and May were going to stay with Michael until the next day so Chris could use Harry´s bed. And there was a guest room in their house with a bed big enough for to grown man. So Eddie speeded up to pack a bag for his son and himself while Bobby cleaned the kitchen. 

Together they headed over to Bobby´s and Athena´s, eat dinner, and watched a movie. Chris decided they head to watch “Dory” because to his record it always cheers him up, so it would work on his Bucky too. But Buck stayed quite. Awfully quiet for Eddie´s taste. The entire movie he didn´t say a word, he didn´t move and Eddie wasn´t sure if he ever blinked. He also didn´t respond to their son as Eddie made him go through his bedtime routine. Athena and Bobby exchanged a look but stayed quiet. Eddie could tell that even Chris was worried. After he tucks him into Harry's bed and reads him a story he asked: “Daddy? What is wrong with Dad?” Eddie placed a sad smile on his face. “I don´t know mijo. But Athena, Bobby and I will figure it out, okay?” Chris nodded. “Can you give him a hug from me?” Eddie felt tears burning behind his eyes. “Of course Chris. Yell if you need everything okay?” Again Chris nodded. “Love you mijo.” “Love you, daddy.” Eddie kissed him on the forehead and left the room. After he closed the door he leaned against the doorframe and gave himself a minute to focus. Now the difficult part would follow. 

He found Buck as he left him. In the corner of the couch. Making himself as small as possible. Eyes glued on the TV without focusing on the now playing cooking show. Bobby sat on his left side. An Arm around his shoulder. Athena sat on Buck's other side. You could really mistake them for parents who tried to comfort their child. Eddie breathed in, turned the TV off, and crouched down in front of his boyfriend. “Hey, Buck. It’s just the three of us. Bobby, Athena, and I. Bobby told us, what you told him earlier. Buck, carino, why are we in danger?” Buck just continued to stare at the TV. “Son listen to me. We can help you. You didn´t run from Eddie like you could have done. That tells me, that you want to stay. You want to face whatever is scaring you. We worried about you. .But we can´t help you when you didn´t tell us.” Eddie shoot Athena a thankful smile. She always knew what to say. Buck also looked at her. Eddie could see that he debated with himself. “Hey carino, can you look at me?” As Buck turned to him he could see the fear. His eyes always had sprinkles’ in it. They always shine. But right now they were dark. Like the Buck he knew, he loved wasn´t in them even more. I hurt Eddie. “That´s it, Buck. Carino, remember the night after Chris's birthday. Remember my promise.” Eddie could see the confused look on Bobby´s and Athena´s faces but at the moment he didn´t care. “I promised you that there is nothing you could do or say that will make me or Chris stop to love you. You don´t get rid of us as long as it is what you want. Everywhere you go, we go. I promise you, whatever is going to happen we will find a way. But please, Evan talk to me!”

Buck knew he could trust him. He did it before and nothing bad happened. But they didn´t know his parents. The didn´t know what was coming. They didn´t know what to expect. But he knew that they, that his family would always be there for him. He bites his lip and looks in Eddie´s brown eyes. They were sad and worried. Buck hate it to see his boyfriend like that. So he made a decision. He pushed himself a little deeper in the arms of his father figure and felt a strong squeeze. He knew he was safe with them by his side and started to tell. “They never wanted me. I knew they thought about abortion but they were catholic so that wasn´t really an option. From the moment I was born the told me that I wasn´t wanted. But it wasn´t that bad at first. They never cared about me so Maddie practically raised me until she left for college. After she left I had to take care of myself. One year later, on my 8th birthday, he hit me the first time.” His voice wasn´t more than a whisper and broke at the end of the sentence. "It got worse after I came out to them as bi." He couldn´t continue to speak and burst into tears. 

Bobby could feel the trembling and just hugged him harder. His head finds his place on top of Bucks. “I´ve got you. It´s gonna be okay son. It´s going to be okay.” Bobby could feel tears behind his eyes. He had known that Buck and his father hadn´t had a good relationship. But that hit a whole new level. Why didn´t a family want a good, loving person like Buck? Since his first day at the station, the younger man warmed his way into Bobby´s heart. And know, after nearly four years he learns more about the childhood of his pseudo-son than in all these years ago. Bobby was sure, Buck never had told them on his own terms. It hurt the older man that Buck still seamed to be trapped by the memories about it. 

Eddie watched for a minute the interaction between his boyfriend and his Captain. Like Athena and Bobby, he had tears in the eyes. He told himself to calm down before he talked: “Evan, we are there for you. Tell us, what you need and we will go the way with you.” Buck shifted a little in Bobby´s arms but looked up at him. He still had tears in his eyes. “They came to Maddie´s baby shower!” Eddie didn´t know what Buck want to say with his statement. “Okay, carino. Did you still want to go?” As soon as the words left Eddie´s mouth Buck started to shake his head violently. “No… no… no, no, no!” “Okay, that’s okay Buck. We don´t have to go.” “But,… but she’s my sister.” Eddie grabbed his hands. “Yeah, and she will understand, when…” Again Buck shakes his head violently. This time Athena intervened. She grabbed his head and made him watch at her. “Buckeroo. Hey son, listen to me. We follow you in this. If you don´t want to go, you don´t have to. If you don´t want Maddie to know the reason, we figure something out. But you need to tell us what you want. But shaking your head like this will you just give a headache. Do you understand?” Buck nodded and sniffed. “So carino? Do you want to go to the shower?” Eddie felt like a father talking to his son. But he loved Buck unconditional so it was worth it. It was worth all the nights without sleep because of Buck´s nightmares. It was worth the flashbacks in the near water and the beach. And it was worth moments like this when Buck acted like a child. It was worth it all because there were much more good, loving, and funny moments. 

His boyfriend gets him back into reality. “I don´t want to go when they are there. But Maddie didn´t know what happened after she moved to college. I don´t want her to know.” Eddie nodded. “Okay, carino. We figure something out. We don´t have to tell Maddie, okay?” Buck nodded. “Thanks, Eds. I love you!” “I love you too, Buck. I love you too!” Buck leaned down to Eddie and kissed him.

“Okay love birdies”, Athena intervened: “we leave you two alone. We figure something out in the morning.” “Thanks ´Thena.” She waved him of. “None of that buckaroo. You are family. We help each other regardless of the circumstances.” She kissed him on the forehead and left, Bobby´s arm around her shoulders the living room and left her pseudo-son and his boyfriend alone. 

Buck and Eddie cuddled together. “We should go to bed carino.” Buck groaned. “Just one more minute. Please hjärtegryn.” Eddie laughed. “Honestly Buck? Swedish? Since when did you speak Swedish?” Buck buries himself a little deeper into Eddie´s shoulder. “Don´t know. Just ask your mom for a pet name.” Eddie smiled and placed a kiss on Buck´s forehead. Eventually, they both fall asleep on the couch of the Grant-Nash household. Both with a smile on there face. Both in the knowledge that they would find a solution. Both in the knowledge about the love from the other man.


End file.
